Two guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding.
"I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
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"The evening after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. A man got out of the car and went in the house and had dinner with your wife. After dinner they went upstairs and I saw your wife kissing him. Then, he took off his shirt and she took off her top and bra. And then the light went out."
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Teacher: You call your mother as mum. What will you call your mother's younger sister and elder sister?
Student: So simple, I will call them minimum and maximum.
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A pig and pigi go to a restaurant.
Pig orders: 1 malai gobar, 1 shahi gobar, 1 kadai gobar, 1 gobar mixed veg.
Pigi says: Please don`t put onions. They smell.
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Santa to judge: My wife got raped.
Judge: Were you there then?
Santa: No.
Judge: Ok then tell the place where the rape happened.
Santa lifting wife`s sari: Here judge sahib...here!
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Santa: Meet my wife Jeeto.
Banta: Oh! I know her.
Santa: How?
Banta: We were caught sleeping together.
Santa: What the hell?
Banta: During lecture in maths class.
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A tragic love story:
A Pig fell in love with a Hen. One day they kissed each other. The next day the Pig died of Bird Flu and the Hen died of Swine Flu.
Ajab Prem ki Gajab Kahani!
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There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck.
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The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing ...........
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English Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away."
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To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper
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One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. "Officer you can't give me a ticket for that!' "Why not" said the officer.......
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Q: Why were hurricanes normally named after women?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.
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why does shops open 24x7 ( x 365 point something days) has lock in the doors?? or even doors??

A young guy from Long Island moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager............
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